All posts tagged: Mindset

Making Peace with Your Inner Critic

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The way you talk to yourself can build you up or tear you down. When your inner dialogue is harsh, it’s usually because you’re repeating things you heard from your parents or other authority figures when you were growing up.

If the criticism goes too far, it can discourage you from trying and take the joy out of your life.

Break free from the voices in your head. Take a look at a variety of techniques that prove that there’s more than one way to make peace with your inner critic.

Making Friends with Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic will sound less scary if you remember that it wants to protect you from failure and other possible dangers.

Learn how to put it to work for you instead of against you:

  1. Increase awareness. You may be so used to your inner critic that you hardly think about what it’s saying. Start changing your relationship by trying to understand what it wants to tell you.

  2. Look back. What’s your first memory of your inner critic? Does it sound like a particular person from your past? There may be family issues or other matters that you need to heal before you can move on.

  3. Focus on growth. Maybe your inner voice says you’re bad at math because you failed a test in the third grade. In reality, you’re not stuck in your past. Adopt a growth mindset that enables you to become whatever you want as long as you’re willing to put in the work to get there.

  4. Aim higher. You may also find your inner critic easier to deal with if you keep a deeper purpose in mind. When you’re working for something bigger than yourself, you can accept your self-doubts without being overcome by them.

  5. Try meditation. Many adults find that meditation helps them to make their self-talk more comforting and motivating. Let go of judgements and connect with your inner goodness.


Silencing Your Inner Critic

On the other hand, there are times when you just need a break. If your self-talk is making you anxious and depressed, you can find relief.

  1. Seek distractions. Shift your attention elsewhere. Take a walk or read a book. Spend some time doing anything that you enjoy.

  2. Distance yourself. Turn down the volume by imagining that your inner critic is speaking to someone else instead of you. Take any statement and replace the personal pronouns with a funny name.

  3. Identify triggers. Give yourself advance warning. Figure out the situations where your inner critic is likely to appear. You may be sensitive about first dates or criticism from your boss.

  4. List your strengths. If you’re tired of hearing about your weaknesses, remember your strengths. Make a list of the things you’re good at from baking bread to writing code.

  5. Correct exaggerations. Your house won’t be condemned because you were too busy to vacuum for a few days. Keep things in perspective by ensuring that your self-talk is accurate.

  6. Use affirmations. Repeating positive affirmations can give you a boost when you’re feeling down. Browse online for ideas or invent your own wording.

  7. Remember your worth. Being tough on yourself erodes your self-esteem. Shore it back up by telling yourself that you deserve to be happy and successful.

  8. Build support. While you need to value yourself, it helps to have others in your corner too. Surround yourself with family and friends who make you feel positive about yourself and your opportunities.

Take control of your self-talk and your future. Treat yourself with compassion and keep striving to reach your full potential.

Walk proud, talk proud, and love your life and life will in turn love you!

Here’s an excellent tool in knocking out that inner critique.  Go here to get it!

Be well,

Roxanne Christian

livelovelife_adminMaking Peace with Your Inner Critic
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How Positive Delusions Can Help You to Reach Your Goals

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A positive delusion could be viewed as merely a very positive attitude. Now, you might think that’s just being inaccurate and lying to yourself. You might be right, but the science is clear on this matter.

Studies have shown that people who overestimate their skills, abilities, and talents for a new endeavor ultimately perform at a higher level than those that are more realistic or pessimistic about succeeding at that endeavor.

Those that overestimate their abilities learn skills better and are more successful. This isn’t too surprising. If you don’t think you’re good at something and that you can’t learn to do it well, you’re going to be less motivated and engaged in learning that activity.

Conversely, if you expect the best, you’re going to jump in and get busy mastering that new skill. With high expectations – even unjustly high expectations – you’re greatly enhancing your odds of success.

Use these tips to use positive delusions for your benefit:

  1. Positive delusions give hope. When you tell yourself, “Things will improve if I just hang in there,” you give yourself the hope you require to keep trying and to persevere. It’s always possible that things won’t improve, but if you believe they will, you give yourself a much better chance of success.

    • Think about what you would do instead if you were very pessimistic. You’d be without hope. Do you think that would make you more likely to succeed or less likely?

  1. Assuming the best can allow you to take action. When you have high expectations, you put yourself in the position to take action. Whether you’re interested in learning to play the banjo or talking to an attractive stranger, you can move forward if you believe that something positive will happen.

    • If you had low expectations, would you be willing to take action?
  1. Keep in mind that most of your beliefs are at least partially delusional. Your knowledge and interpretations of your past experiences are far from perfect. There’s little that you believe to be true that’s actually true. We’re all operating under various delusions.

  2. Limit your negative self-talk. Negativity kills. It kills your spirit, motivation, and future. Put a damper on negative self-talk before it has a chance to gain momentum. Once it begins, immediately turn your attention to something else.

  3. Think about the kind of person you want to become. Consider the goals you have in your life and think about what type of person you need to be in order to attain those goals. What qualities and characteristics do you need to possess? See yourself as already having those qualities.

  4. Visualize success. One of the easiest ways to create a positive delusion is to visualize yourself succeeding. Imagine overcoming every possible obstacle. Imagine yourself confidently achieving success. This is one of the best ways to use positive delusions to your advantage.

  5. Believe that having positive delusions is in your best interest. Remind yourself that being practical and realistic can be very limiting. Being optimistic and overestimating your abilities can be very effective in the long term.

There’s a time to be practical and realistic. But that time might not be as often as you think.

Overestimating your abilities and the likelihood of your success can be a powerful way to improve your results. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt on a regular basis and see how it affects your life. You can always go back to more pessimistic ways if you want.

There’s a saying that goes Reach for the stars and you’ll hit the sky. I say “reach into the Universe and you’ll certainly hit the stars”.

Choose what works rather than what makes sense. Perform an optimism experiment on yourself and review the results.

If You are stuck try this tool to aid in your success. Catch it here now.

Just remember to Love you Life,

Roxanne Christian

livelovelife_adminHow Positive Delusions Can Help You to Reach Your Goals
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When Things Don’t Go as Planned


When faced with an undesired situation see the situation as not what you feel it is, but as e new possibility that you will choose it to be.  In doing so you are practicing shifting the experience or what is occurring for you to something else.  Something more uplifting, edifying and more desirable; something you can learn and grow from.

Everything we experience occurs to us in language as we describe the events and feelings, and interpret through language.  Everything can be changed in language by changing the way you speak about the experience, assigning new language to experience to create a new possibility of what is.

Practice creating your life with the language you chose to assign to your experiences.

Be blessed, be beautiful!  Love and Light.  Stay bright!

Roxanne Christian

livelovelife_adminWhen Things Don’t Go as Planned
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